The Jonas Brothers: Lines, Vines and Trying Times

Inside every teen sensation, there is a legitimate artist waiting to break free.  They start out playing simple three minute pop tunes for armies of teenage girls.  They sell millions of records, but never receive any kind of critical acclaim.  To win that respect, they make an overly ambitious album to prove that there is substance behind the hype.  It’s a cycle that has been repeating itself since the dawn of modern pop music.  Lines, Vines and Trying Times is The Jonas Brothers’ bid for artistic integrity.

Lines, Vines and Trying Times is a very earnest record.  It is not the forced maturity of No More Games-era New Kids on the Block, but three guys discovering new influences and jumping in with zeal.  Their intentions are admirable, but like so many other “mature” teen pop albums, the reach exceeds the grasp.  The album is rooted in the fizzy power pop of their last two albums, but introduces lush orchestral arrangements, horns and Hammond organs.  For a bubblegum band like The Jonas Brothers, new sounds and elaborate arrangements seem like a step in the right direction.  Unfortunately, they get in the way of the hook, which is the prime commodity that the Jonas Brothers sell.

The opening track, “World War III,” is the perfect example.  Within 30 seconds, you are bombarded by a brass section.  You can’t hear the chorus because the brass is mixed so high.  This is an almost fatal flaw, because the Jonas Brothers’ primary audience doesn’t care about musical sophistication.  They want simple melodies that they can easily sing along to while gazing upon their Nick Jonas poster.  The huge arrangements are distracting.  They are rooted in blue-eyed soul, but the squeaky clean production sucks the soul out.

The Jonas Brothers are decent when they keep it simple.  “Hey Baby” is a catchy number based on Stevie Wonder’s “Superstition.”  It’s just guitar, organ, bass, and drums.  There is nothing extraneous or indulgent, so you can actually hear the melody.  “Poison Ivy” is another catchy pop song, but suffers from a myriad of clichéd metaphors.  The clichés are accentuated by Nick Jonas, who hasn’t quite figured out how to vary his delivery.  His voice was exaggerated on South Park, but his mannerisms aren’t too far off.  He tries to sound passionate, but he sounds contrived most of the time.

The highlight for most fans will be his duet with Miley Cyrus on “Before the Storm.”  For everyone else, it’s the album’s lowpoint.  Cyrus can’t sing.  Her voice is flat and she doesn’t know how to compliment her duet partner.  It’s not really a song, but a way to exploit the vulnerable Hannah Montana/Jonas Brothers fanbase.

Perhaps I’m being too hard on the JoBros.  This record wasn’t made for me, and if I were a fourteen year old girl, I’d probably love it.  Lines, Vines and Trying Times isn’t particularly bad, just really flawed.  The Jonas Brothers made a valiant attempt at maturity, but forgot about the songs.  Teen idols take note: before you walk, you need to learn how to crawl.