24 Hours of Elvis
Author’s note: This article was written as I was watching the Elvis Presley movie marathon on Turner Classic Movies. As the marathon wore on, fatigue started to set it. I leave my comments unaltered to preserve the authenticity of the piece.
Elvis Aron Presley died 32 years ago today, in the upstairs bathroom of his Graceland Estate. I try to do something in honor of his memory every year, but I couldn’t think of anything. I didn’t want to write another essay about how Elvis is the greatest of all time, the undisputed king of rock n’ roll, the same spiel that I’ve written over and over again. I’ve beaten that horse. Still, I couldn’t let the anniversary of his death pass me by.
Tuner Classic Movies came to my rescue. As part of their “Summer Under the Stars” theme, they were going to play Elvis movies for 24 hours. I knew what I had to do. I, John Nagle IV, being of sound body and mind, pledged to watch every single film Turner Classic threw at me. The marathon began at 6 AM Sunday with Viva Las Vegas and concluded at 6 AM the next day with The Trouble with Girls.
I know what you are thinking: “But John…you are annoyingly obsessive about Elvis. This won’t even be a challenge for you.” Not true. Tuner Classic Movies has thrown a few wrenches in my plan, including my sworn enemy: Clambake. However, I will do the clam, even though it pains me to do so. Why? Because it’s the least I can do for a man who has given me so much…and my brother bet me five dollars that I couldn’t do it.
Before we get going, let’s dispel one myth:
All Elvis Movies Don’t Suck: I’m not going to lie. A lot of Elvis’s movies are really terrible, but he did make some decent ones. Some of them are good, and one is great. You just need to know how to enjoy an Elvis movie. They aren’t about acting or scripts or special effects, it all boils down to Elvis’s charisma and his chemistry with the female lead. If those two elements are in place, the formula works. Supporting casts and decent songs don’t hurt either. With that in mind, let’s boogie.
Viva Las Vegas (1964)
Viva Las Vegas is the best example of the “Presley Travelogue,” as Elvis dismissively called some of his movies. The formula is simple and effective. Put Elvis in an exotic or glamorous locale, give him a cool job and throw a girl into the mix. Elvis plays Lucky Jackson, a race car driver hell-bent on winning the Las Vegas Grand Prix. He also sings. When swimming instructor Ann-Margaret enters his garage, hilarious hijinks ensue. Ann-Margaret is the only one of Elvis’s leading ladies that can match him move for move and song for song. The chemistry they have together is absolutely electric, and she nearly steals the movie with her solo number, “My Rival.” The songs are all great, the production numbers are splashy and Cesar Danova hits the perfect note as Elvis’ rival on the racetrack.
Charisma: 10
Girl: 10
The Verdict: One of the only Elvis movies that transcends the genre. Viva Las Vegas is fun from start to finish and makes you wonder what Elvis and Ann-Margaret could have done if they made another picture together.
Spinout (1966)
Elvis is a singing race car driver once again, but with less satisfying results. He plays Mike McCoy, a rock singer who races cars on the side. Spinout was released near the end of Elvis’ film career and it shows. He looks bored throughout the entire movie, listlessly shaking his hips when the script calls for it. It’s hard to blame him. Elvis is pursued by three women, including frequent co-star Shelley Fabares. Sexist comments abound as Elvis keeps them at arm’s length, before marrying off all three. Elvis movies are not exactly known for brilliant screenplays, but this was even more ridiculous than usual. I guess Elvis became ordained in the director’s cut
Charisma: 7
Girl: 6
The Verdict: The saddest thing about Spinout is how old fashioned Elvis seems. 1966 is one of the most pivotal years in rock history, and Elvis is stuck in 1961. The songs are milquetoast, and not even Elvis’s charisma can save them.
Blue Hawaii (1961)
Blue Hawaii is the first “Presley Travelogue” and the film that set the tone for the rest of his movie career. Elvis plays Chad Gates, heir to the Gates pineapple fortune, who longs for the simple beach life of his native friends. Guess what? He sings too! In all seriousness, Blue Hawaii is a fun movie. It was made shortly after Elvis came home from the Army, so he hadn’t become bored with Hollywood yet. The music is subdued, but really consistent. It delivers one stone cold classic, “Can’t Help Falling in Love,” which became Elvis’s final number during his concerts. Joan Blackman is a decent leading lady, and is in a bikini for most of the time. My favorite part of Blue Hawaii is Angela Lansbury’s insanely over the top performance as Elvis’s mother. It needs to be seen to be believed.
Charisma: 9
Girl: 8
The Verdict: Blue Hawaii succeeds because it doesn’t skimp on the essentials. There’s lots of Elvis, and gorgeous Hawaiian scenery in every shot. The formula was still new, but it would be stale within a year.
Girls! Girls! Girls! (1962)
Elvis’s second Hawaiian vacation isn’t as fun as the first. Elvis plays a fisherman named Ross Carpenter who dreams of owning his own boat. In a stunning plot twist, he moonlights as a nightclub singer! He’s dating the female singer at the club, but ends up falling for Stella Stevens instead. Hilarity and misunderstandings ensue. Some scenes are almost identical to Blue Hawaii. Elvis sings to an old woman at her anniversary party, sings impromptu songs, yadda yadda yadda. Girls! Girls! Girls! was obviously made on a smaller budget than Blue Hawaii, because there are less breathtaking vistas. I don’t expect Elvis movies to be glaring beacons for political correctness, but the movie’s portrayal of Asian people is really offensive, especially when Elvis and Stella Stephens try to eat with chopsticks. Fortunately, the movie has one saving grace: “Return to Sender,” one of Elvis’s best songs from this period. Too bad it’s only two minutes long.
Charisma: 7
Girl: 6
The Verdict: Not bad, but not good either. Besides the racial stereotypes, Stella Stephens is the worst thing about the film. She doesn’t have any chemistry with Elvis, and their scenes together are really subdued. There is also a bizarre scene in a hotel lobby where she adopts a southern accent for no reason and starts to babble about her dogs. Cut to the next scene, and it’s never mentioned again.
Jailhouse Rock (1957)
Best. Elvis. Movie. Ever. EVER! If you don’t like Jailhouse Rock, you are not an Elvis fan. This film captures Elvis in all his late-50s glory. He plays Vince Everett, a young man convicted of manslaughter who learns how to play guitar in the penitentiary. He rises to fame and glory, but soon realizes that it isn’t all it cracked up to be. It sounds as corny as the other films, but it isn’t. Its shot in glorious black and white, Elvis sneers rather than smiles and it has the best group of songs he ever put on film. Besides the title track, there is “Treat Me Nice,” “Don’t Leave Me Now,” “Young and Beautiful” and “You’re So Square (Baby I Don’t Care).” Many fans prefer King Creole over Jailhouse, but I think Jailhouse is Elvis’s last moment of pure rebellion. When he made King Creole, the Army was looming and the controversy was dying. Besides, it has “Don’t Leave Me Now.” That song is gold Jerry! Gold!
Charisma: 10
Girl: 10
The Verdict: Have I mentioned that “Don’t Leave Me Now” is totally awesome? Because it is.
Fun in Acapulco (1963)
If you’ll pardon the pun, Fun in Acapulco isn’t very much fun. Among it’s numerous crimes: horrible stereotypes, craptacular music, and um IT’S NOT EVEN FILMED IN FUCKING ALCUPULCO! Sorry, I didn’t mean to explode like that. Cheap sets are everywhere, along with references to “siestas,” “Gringos” and “Tequila,” so you don’t forget where the film is set. When I first saw this film, I asked myself “How bad can a film with Ursula Andress be? The answer: Really bad. When Ursula Andress is in a bikini for 90 percent of the film and you are praying for it to be over, something is very wrong. I forgot to mention the plot: Elvis is a fisherman who is fired from his job and is forced to become….a nightclub singer! It still doesn’t sound that bad? I have one sentence: “No Room to Rumba in a Sports Car.” It’s so lame I could cry.
Charisma: 5
Girl: 4
The Verdict: I can’t believe someone actually went up to Elvis and said, “Hey King, we have this song for you, it’s called ‘No Room to Rumba in a Sports Car’.” I thought the dude carried a pistol in his boot. Oh and even worse: He fights with this lifeguard for the entire film, and then they suddenly become friends because Elvis dived off a cliff. GAH!
Girl Happy (1965)
I haven’t seen this one in years, and it was actually a nice surprise. Girl Happy is an unabashed beach movie. Elvis plays (surprise!) a Chicago nightclub singer named Rusty Wells who is hired by a mob boss to look after his daughter while she goes on Spring Break. “Do the Clam” is still lame, but if you like the kitsch of Frankie and Annette movies (which I do), then its pretty fun. Shelley Fabares is not my favorite Elvis leading lady, but she’s really likable here. The best Presley travelogues provide a real sense of location, and Girl Happy is no exception. Oh, and Elvis breaks into jail to save Shelley from shame. It involves a bulldozer. Breaking and entering = always fun.
Charisma: 8
Girl: 8
The Verdict: After Fun in Acapulco, even Harum Scarum would be enjoyable, but Girl Happy doesn’t try to be anything but a beach movie. It’s a nice respite, especially when you consider the next film on the schedule.
Clambake (1967)
Well it had to come to this I suppose. My hatred of Clambake is well documented. I don’t particularly know why, since the Elvis canon contains movies that are much worse. I think my hatred comes from the opening scene. Elvis pulls into a gas station wearing the most ridiculous suit I’ve ever seen, a white polyester number with black baseball stitching. The plot: Elvis is the heir to a huge oil fortune, and is tired of people only liking him for his money. Will Hitchens is a water-ski instructor who is tired of being poor. Gee, I wonder where this is going. Oh yeah, and Elvis can sing….because all millionaire water ski instructors can. So after Elvis and Hitchens switch places (Elvis takes Will’s motorcycle, because in the Elvis movie universe, all poor people ride motorcycles), Elvis falls for gold-digger Shelley Fabares, because she has awesome bangs. At least the movie delivers on one promise: They have a clambake. Elvis is wearing red velvet pants and a white jacket…on the beach, but they have the clambake.
Charisma: 6 (I’m docking a point for his wardrobe, because it really pisses me off. Just because you can wear red velvet pants on the beach doesn’t mean you should).
Girl: 7 (Shelley gains a point, because her bangs are awesome…and she tries to nail Bill “The Incredible Hulk” Bixby.)
The Verdict: Not as bad as I remembered…but I still hate it with a passion. Until “No Room to Rumba in a Sports-Car,” “Who Needs Money” was my least favorite Elvis musical number. Its insipidness can not be conveyed in words. Oh yeah, there’s a boat race at the end, because it’s not an Elvis Presley movie without a race.
Fun Fact: I’ve watched Elvis race three times today.
It Happened at the World’s Fair (1963)
This movie is proof that super-producer Hal Wallis was a genius. The 1962 World’s Fair was taking place in Seattle, so he had someone write a script, had Elvis visit the key exhibits, throw in an adorable girl named Vicky Tui and boom. We have an Elvis movie. Elvis plays a crop-dusting pilot that has his plane repossessed because of his partner’s gambling debts. The two of them go to Seattle to exploit the rubes at The World’s Fair. Hilarious hijinks ensue. There is also a big surprise, Elvis can sing! So he sings, and meets up with a cute little girl, and it’s absolutely precious. You might be asking me, “John, can all crop-dusting pilots sing?” Yes they can. Singing is a required skill for crop-dusting pilots. I always wanted to be one, but I missed a couple of notes in “Danny Boy.” I tried to sing “Harrigan,” to make up for my blunder, but the crop dusting license committee was all “Sorry, one Irish-themed song is all we allow.” Bastards. What was I talking about again?
Charisma: 8
Girl: 10
The Verdict: Elvis pursues a relationship with a nurse in this movie, but it’s all about his interaction with Vicky Tui. They are great together. It sounds really corny, but their relationship humanizes Elvis.
King Creole (1958)
King Creole is widely considered to be Elvis’ best acting performance, and many fans have speculated that if he had continued in this direction he would have been taken seriously as an actor. We don’t know for sure, but Elvis gives a great performance. Based on the novel A Stone for Danny Fisher by Harold Robbins, Elvis plays the title character, a young musician trying to come up in the New Orleans Club scene. He runs afoul of a mob boss played by Walter Matthau and hooks up with an escort played by Carolyn Jones. It is the darkest film Elvis ever made, shot with exactly the right mixture of light and shadows. There are good songs too, like the title track and “Trouble.” This would be the last glimpse of rebel Presley that America would see before he left for Germany. The gorgeously shot black and white films were a thing of the past, and Elvis would be seen from then on in candy coated Technicolor. My rating system doesn’t work for this one, but it is a great movie.
The Verdict: For the record, all four movies Elvis made in the 1950s are worth your time.
GI Blues (1960)
GI Blues is biographical…sort of. It was shot on location in Germany while Elvis was finishing up his service. He plays Specialist Tulsa McLean, a singing soldier who dreams of running his own nightclub when he gets out of the army. Unfortunately this subplot gets lost in the shuffle as Elvis and his buddy make a bet on who will sleep with Juliet Prowse first. Yes, you read that sentence correctly. Elvis feels bad about it and wonders why. Gee, I wonder. The nastiness of the screenplay is slightly redeemed by the music, which is energetic and lively for Elvis’ soundtrack output after 1958. As with Blue Hawaii, he seems energized to be working again. It’s a clear example of Elvis’ boundless charisma carrying a film, and Prowse’s legs ain’t bad either.
Charisma: 8 (I’m docking a point because although he’s kind of a dick in this film, he’s dripping with DLR-like charazma.)
The Girl: 9 (Juliet gets an extra point because I find her legs to be fantastic)
The Verdict: I have a love/hate relationship with GI Blues. I hate the story, but dig the songs and Elvis is clearly having fun. I don’t know. Thumbs in the middle. He is totally engaging though, Jailhouse Rock level.
Roustabout (1964)
Roustabout is one of Elvis’ most underrated movies. He plays a drifter who gets a job working a carnival run by *drumroll please* BARBARA STANWYCK! So he’s cocky at the beginning, and too good to be a handyman at Ms. Stanwyck’s carnival, until she informs him about her loveless marriage. Elvis tricks her husband into signing a hefty life insurance policy, and they hatch a plot to murder him, making it look like he was hit by a train. Meanwhile, Edward G. Robinson is suspicious of Elvis and Ms. Stanwyck, and keeps mentioning a little man in his chest. Wait, that’s another movie. OK, let’s try again. Ms. Stanwyck is the heiress to a vast fortune. She marries working class handsome guy Elvis. She gets sick and confined to her bed. She becomes privy to Elvis’ sinister plot to murder her, but is unable to save herself. Damn. That’s not the right movie either. Elvis starts working at the carnival, is arrogant and cocky at the beginning, but eventually learns deep life lessons as the top carnival attraction. His talent is a total stretch: he’s a singer.
Charisma: 8
The Girl: 10 (Barbara Stanwyck is always awesome)
The Verdict: Elvis’ manager Colonel Tom Parker was a carny by trade, and the film feels really authentic. It’s really different from Elvis’ other films, and it has Barbara Stanwyck.
The Trouble With Girls (1969)
We wrap things up with The Trouble With Girls. I must admit, my enthusiasm is waning and I can barely see straight. However, I got up at 6 AM with Viva Las Vegas, and I shall retire at 6 AM, when Tuner Classic passes the torch to Jennifer Jones. This is the weirdest Elvis movie of all. He is only in the movie for a third of the running time. He enters a scene, says his lines and then leaves. I can’t blame him for sleepwalking, because even in my sleep-deprived state, I can’t follow it. I can’t even use my traditional rating system, because there isn’t a girl. Avoid this film. Avoid like the plague. It’s the only time I’ve seen Elvis without charisma, and that deeply depresses me.
Epilogue: My family didn’t think I’d be able to pull this off, but I did. I did it partly out of my love for Elvis Presley, but also because I wanted to prove something. People paint Elvis films with a broad brush, proclaiming them all to be terrible. Yes, he made some awful movies, but for every lame stereotype of Mexican culture in Fun in Acapulco, there are great moments with little Vicky Tui. For every insipid ballad like “Ito Eats,” there’s “Don’t Leave Me Now.” Elvis never made a Citizen Kane or even A Hard Day’s Night, but he gave the people what they wanted. Elvis’s movies are a lot like his music in some ways. When he was on, nobody in the world could come near him. If you watch Jailhouse Rock, it is impossible to take your eyes off him. He’s a magnet. When he was apathetic, the results suffered. Despite all the criticism his film career has received, every single film made a profit. As legendary producer Hal Wallis once said, “The only sure thing in Hollywood is an Elvis Presley picture.” What does that tell you?
Profitable or not, Fun in Acapulco still sucks.
