To See The Boss
I first saw Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band in 2007 at the Verizon Center. I’d been a big fan for a while, but I was unprepared for what I saw that night. I went with my dad, who thought Bruce Springsteen was one of the most overrated artists in history. He went along with me because he wanted us to spend time together. The house lights went down, and I heard a roar like I’d never heard before.
“IS THERE ANYONE ALIVE OUT THERE?!” Bruce yelled.
The roar got even louder. Bruce asked us the same question again.
“IS THERE ANYONE ALIVE OUT THERE?!”
The response was so loud that I never thought I’d be able to hear again.
The stage lights suddenly went up, and there he was. The Boss was in all his glory, with the legendary E-Street Band behind him. It was just about perfect, but something was missing. Where was The Big Man? The moment I asked that question, Clarence Clemons was back to back with Bruce, in a tableau similar to the Born to Run cover. I wasn’t planning on crying that night, because I tend to cry more than the average male should. However, seeing Bruce and The Big Man together was too much. I’m getting emotional thinking about it now. I looked over at my dad, who never shows emotion at concerts. His eyes were misty too. It was right out of Field of Dreams.
As we were walking out of the Verizon Center, my dad looked down at me and said, “I get it now.”
When Bruce announced that he was touring in support of Working on a Dream, I told my dad that we were going, and this time it would be my treat. I was happy that he was coming back to the Verizon Center, since it is the perfect place for someone like me to see a show.
Most major venues in Maryland were built before the Americans With Disabilities Act. Therefore, their idea of accessible seating is to remove a few seats from the upper deck, without any regard for sight lines. I’ve been to so many shows at 1st Mariner that have been ruined, because everyone is standing up. The Verizon Center was built in 1997, so their accessible seating is actually accessible. Unfortunately, you can’t buy accessible seats from the regular box office; you have to buy them from The Office of Accessible Seating™.
I didn’t have a problem with this, because when we bought our tickets two years ago, it was completely painless. We called them early in the morning, they called us back within a half hour and then we had our tickets. I figured it would be the same drill this time around.
I got up early and called the office at about 8 AM, just to make sure I landed a spot. I left a message and waited for them to call me back. Soon it was 10:00, then 10:30. I left another message on the machine, and still no call. I decided to call the regular box office. Springsteen is a high profile concert, so I was sure they would cut me some slack. After a few rings, someone picked up. It was the first human being I talked to all day.
“Verizon Center.”
“Hi, I would like to purchase accessible seating tickets for the Bruce Springsteen concert on May 18.”
“I’m sorry sir. You are going to have to go through The Office of Accessible Seating™. We don’t carry those tickets at the regular box office.”
“Yes, I’ve been trying to contact them all day, but they haven’t picked up.”
“Then try again.” *click*
OK. So I picked up the phone and tried again. I picked up the phone and I tried again. I picked up the phone and tried again. I picked up the phone and tried again. Each time I got the answering machine. The recording burned into my brain. The woman’s voice was a mixture of Fran Drescher and Mary-Jo Buttafuoco after she got shot in the face. After an eternity, someone finally picked up.
“Is this Jerry?” a woman asked.
“No. Is this the Office of Accessible Seating™?” I asked, noting the slightly desperate tone in my voice.
“Yes. Are you sure you aren’t Jerry?”
“Yes. I’ve been trying to get in contact with you all day. I would like to purchase accessible seats for the Bruce Springsteen concert on May 18.”
“OK, there are only a few seats left.”
“Just give me the best available please.”
“OK. Hold on a second please.” *click*
She hung up on me.
I was about to drop $200 of my hard earned cash to see a man slide on his knees while singing uplifting/depressing songs about auto factory workers losing their jobs, and she hung up on me. I was back where I started. Maybe I should have said I was Jerry. I can be Jerry. What’s the deal with airline food?
By now it was 1:00, and I still hadn’t had any luck. My phone rang. The ticket agent was on the other end.
“Is this John?”
Whoa. She got my name right. I must be in Bizarro World.
“Yes.”
“We were through our backlog of messages and we found yours. You called at 10:30?”
“Actually I called at 8.”
“Yes, but tickets went on sale at ten, so your first call doesn’t count.”
Un-fucking-believable.
”We’ll take care of everyone who called before you, and then we’ll call you back.”
For those of you keeping score, I got up at 7:30 in the morning. I got dressed, brushed my teeth and washed my face. I was responsible. I called the Office of Accessible Seating™ early, just so I could secure myself a seat. However, I was not aware of the omnipotent powers of The Office of Accessible Seating™. Apparently it has the ability to change the laws of time and space so that a call that comes at 10:00 comes before a call that was made at 8:00. My head almost exploded as I formulated that hypothesis.
Unfortunately, I could no longer wait by the phone like the plain girl who wasn’t asked to The Enchantment Under the Sea Dance. I had to interview someone for the paper. As I was driving to my interview, my phone rang. A competent ticket agent was on the other end. After five hours of trying, I finally procured two tickets to see Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band. I wondered if it was worth all the trouble. My iPod was on shuffle, and the live version of “No Surrender” came on. Bruce strummed a few chords and then said,
“This one’s for friendship.”
He answered my question.
February 4, 2009 at 3:04 am
I laughed, if only because I can relate to playing phone-tag with moron call-center workers. I can’t wait to read your account of the concert.
February 10, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Jesus, that’s all I can say to that.