I started watching TRL in 1998, but 1999 was the year that it became a major part of my life. This is because I had three surgeries and was on my back a majority of the time. I had nothing better to do than watch MTV all day long. Now I know you are saying, “But John, you could have read books!” Have you tried reading huge hardbacks on your back? It’s not easy. This entry will probably be more nostalgic than the others. Sue me.
10. Bush- The Chemicals Between Us
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMZjy7-AzF0
Ladies and gentlemen I humbly present Bush’s final relevant single. My friend Steve bought this record the week it came out, expecting it to be better than Razorblade Suitcase. A week later I asked him how it was, and he sadly told me that it kinda sucked. The truth is that Bush was never an album band. Gavin Rossdale knows how to write a single, but he could never translate the magic into an entire record. “The Chemicals Between Us” is a decent song, but you can tell they were running out of steam. Bush released one more album to general apathy before Gavin Rossdale retired to be Gwen Stefani’s husband.
I don’t remember this song being on TRL, but we did discuss at the lunch table.
9. 98 Degrees- I Do (Cherish You)
Look, an advertisement for Men’s Wearhouse! Behold, the War and Peace of boyband videos. Doritos girl Ali Landry is sleeping with every member of 98 Degrees, even the one with bleached blonde hair. Each member proposes to Landry, hoping to grab a piece of her corn chip fortune. They all are wearing rented tuxedos as they prepare for the happiest moment of their meticulously coiffed lives. Then, as Landry faces her groom, we discover that she is actually marrying….Dustin Diamond. Oh the hilarity! At the time this ending was quite puzzling, but now we know why Landry went for Screech. Have you seen that dude’s schlong?
Song: 4
Nostalgia Factor: 7
And the parade of suck continues for 98 Degrees.
8. Mariah Carey- Heartbreaker
Has anyone else noticed that Mariah Carey basically released the same song from 1995 to 2003? There’s a kicky dance sample, pyrotechnic vocals and a cameo from a major rapper. People bought the formula without even realizing it was a formula. Her music may be terrible, but she certainly knows how to market herself. “Heartbreaker” is saved by the Jay-Z cameo. He was untouchable in the late ’90s, and the Scarface tub is a nice touch, even if Nas did it first.
Song: 6
Nostalgia Factor: 5
At least it’s not anything from the Glitter soundtrack.
7. Kid Rock- Cowboy
This was a bit of a surprise. I thought they would put “Bawitdaba” on the countdown since that was his breakthrough singles. Of all the Nu-Metal acts that came and went during this time, Kid Rock is still plugging away, I think it’s because he was smart enough not to get too wrapped up in the scene. While everyone else was busy growling about their parents, Rock was name-checking Hank Williams Jr. It gave him an entirely new fanbase, and he continues to sell a lot of records. I would have chosen “Bawitdaba,” but any of the singles from Devil Without a Cause would have worked.
Song: 8
Nostalgia Factor: 8
Speaking of his other singles, how come “I Am the Bullgod” gets no love?
6. Christina Aguilera- Genie in a Bottle
I always preferred Britney to Christina, which I will thoroughly discuss later. Christina knows how to make killer pop singles though, and this is arguably her greatest moment. The thing I like about this song is that she doesn’t oversing. She hits some unbelievably high notes, but it’s not overkill. Some of her later work is virtually unlisteneble due to her ridiculous scat singing. In “Genie in the Bottle,” she just belts the song out.
Song: 8
Nostalgia Factor: 9
Side note: I forgot how awesome she looked in that midriff top.
5. Limp Bizkit- Rearranged
I can’t believe they chose “Rearranged” over “Nookie.” Granted they are both equally terrible tunes, but at least “Nookie” has a hook. “Rearranged” just has tons and tons of Fred Durst. In case you didn’t know, the world does not understand him. Everywhere he goes he is persecuted by the haters. He uses an incredibly obscure metaphor for his persecution….he’s in jail! Because we were too afraid to stand up on behalf of the Bizkit, they were put to death. We should be ashamed of ourselves.
Song: 4
Nostalgia Factor: 9
The Bizkit man, they were awesome.
4. blink-182- All the Small Things
It sounds weird now, but for a while blink was a very underground band. When I was in 7th grade, only the hardcore “punk” kids listen to them. They were kind of like Operation Ivy, a band that I knew the name of but knew nothing about. I assumed that blink was a totally hardcore punk band. Then they were all over MTV, and I felt stupid. The great thing about blink was that they were unafraid to grow up. However, I think the three singles from this record encapsulate everything that is awesome about pop-punk. It got overplayed, but “All the Small Things” holds up remarkably well. I challenge any of today’s emo bands to come up with a hook that huge.
Song: 9
Nostalgia Factor: 9
I still laugh at the girl in the crowd with the sign that says “Travis, I’m pregnant.” I haven’t grown up at all.
3. *N’Sync with Gloria Estefan- Music of My Heart
Yay! A completely sappy and pandering ballad written for a completely sappy and pandering film! The problem with this song is that it makes the band seem much older than they are. Realistically, a band of 20-year olds would not be singing adult contemporary. The Backstreet Boys sang adult contemporary too, but they had better voices than *N’Sync, so they could pull it off. At least adult contemporary makes sense here, since it is a duet with Gloria Estefan. Personally, I would have preferred a cover of “Bad Boys.” *N’Sync could be the cats!
Song: 3
Nostalgia Factor: 5
This song is so sappy I think I got diabetes from it.
2. Backstreet Boys- Larger Than Life
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oj67T29Uxjo
Backstreet Boys were the opposite of *N’Sync. They could knock a ballad out of the park, but their upbeat tunes are very awkward. “Larger Than Life” is basically The Spice Girls’ “Spice Up Your Life” from a guy’s point of view. It fails on every conceivable level. I never understood why the video was in space. Aren’t boy bands supposed to be eye candy for girls? Then why do they have Nick Carter as a robot? Aren’t you supposed to like, see his abs? His hair isn’t even floppy. I call shenanigans!
Song: 3
Nostalgia Factor: 7
How did they get up in space again?
1. Britney Spears- Baby One More Time
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiEUoNnh380
MTV chose Britney’s video for “Crazy” as the number one video of 1999, but I had to intervene. The video for “Crazy” is great, but “Baby One More Time” is the most significant video of my life. Laugh all you want, but this video is the reason I got up in the morning in 1999 I had just had major hip surgery and was in a full body cast from the waste down. I was incredibly depressed. One day, I turned on MTV and I saw a girl in a Catholic school uniform dancing around. I’ll never forget what I said,
“Who is that? She’s gorgeous!”
Thus began the biggest crush on a celebrity that I have ever had. When I went back to the hospital for a month of rehab, she was plastered all over my room. When I had to go to a special school for rehab, the thought of seeing her in concert kept me going. When saw her in concert, I was given an autographed picture. No matter what happens, I will always have a special place in my heart for Britney. I may have destroyed any bit of heavy metal credibility I had with this post, but I don’t care. She helped me get through the roughest part of my life, and I will be forever grateful.
Song: 10
Nostalgia Factor: 10
Odds and Ends:
TLC- No Scrubs
I think the most interesting thing about TLC is that each record featured a different member as the lead. Ooh! On The TLC Tip had a lot of Left-Eye. CrazySexyCool was T-Boz’ record. Chilli’s moment was Fan Mail. You could not go anywhere in 1999 without hearing this song, and I hated it for a long time. Nine years later, it holds up pretty well.
Destiny’s Child- Bills, Bills, Bills
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bm8hi99h9rA
This is basically the same song as “No Scrubs,” except with Destiny’s Child there is only one star. Let me give you a hint, it’s the one in the middle.
Ricky Martin- Livin’ La Vida Loca
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmwzEhwScug
Remind me, why did people think Ricky Martin was good?
Well, that was 1999. A year of angry white men, boy bands, and an ill-advised salsa trend. Join me tomorrow, when we discuss the new millennium.
