Rant n' Rave With John Nagle

I find it oddly fitting that my first post on this spanking new blog of mine is about something coming to an end.  Total Request Live, the last bastion of music on MTV, has come to an end.  Even though I hadn’t watched it years, I couldn’t help but feel a little sad.  TRL was my American Bandstand.  I came home from school everyday, poured some Goldfish, cracked open a Mountain Dew and settled in to watch teenage girls squeal for boybands.  My peak TRL-watching years were from 1998 to 2004, so those are the years I am going to cover.  I could cover 2005-2008, but then I’d come off as a curmudgeonly old man, bitching about Fall Out Boy.

So we’ll start on this nostalgic journey where it all began.  The lists came from MTV Hits.  Unfortunately I only caught the end of the ’98 list, so the videos will be out of order.

Hole- Celebrity Skin

Did you know that prolific addict Courtney Love once had a profitable side career as a musician and actress?  This is from Courtney’s brief flirtation with sobriety.  I actually thought this song was a valiant effort to get away from the Queen of Grunge label and recast herself as a Glam Goddess.  The bridge is incredibly catchy, and the riff has lovely glitter rock sheen.  Unfortunately she was not able to keep up the momentum.  After embarking on a disastrous co-headlining tour with Marilyn Manson, the band imploded.  Courtney would fall into her old habits.

Song Rating: 7

Nostalgia Factor: 6

I honestly don’t remember this song being on TRL that much, so I can’t rate it very highly.

*N’Sync- (God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time on You

I honestly don’t know why MTV chose to put this video on their list.  It dominated the countdown, but *N’Sync’s ballads were never as good as their upbeat numbers.  This one is especially bad, because the video is downright creepy.  The boys are dressed in virginal white outfits, singing about a girl that changed their world with just one kiss.  That’s all well and good, but the video depicts a World War II soldier and his mother.  Justin Timberlake’s mom changed his world with just one kiss? Is this Arkansas?  It’s interesting to note that in these early *N’Sync videos, both Justin and J.C. were pegged as the breakout stars.  That would change in a few years.

Song Rating: 4

Nostalgia Factor: 8

Even though I hate the song, I can’t deny how utterly huge it was.

Backstreet Boys- All I Have to Give

Unlike their rivals *N’Sync, the Backstreet Boys’ bread and butter was their ability to deliver a ballad.  This is Swedish pop balladry at its finest.  However, the song takes a backseat to the hilariously dated visuals.  I especially like Nick Carter’s look as he is delivering the first line.  It’s as if he’s saying “Look at my adorably floppy blonde hair.”  Not to be outdone, Brian Litrell delivers the greatest sad puppy dog face I have ever seen.  But their performances our overshadowed by bad boy A.J. McLean, who barks out his lyrics with pain, anguish and perfectly sculptured sideburns.  I always wondered what the function of the other two boys were.  Window dressing?

Song Rating: 6

Nostalgia Factor: 9

I just can’t get past those sideburns.  Seriously A.J., how many hours of grooming did it take?

Aaliyah- Are You That Somebody?

I know this is a sin since she died and all, but Aaliyah never did anything for me.  With the exception of Mary J. Blige, most R&B singers from this era are pretty faceless.  To me, Aaliyah is interchangeable with Faith Evans, or Kelly Price, or Deborah Cox.  It all runs together.  This is a decent song, but her performance never puts it above that level.   Sorry Aaliyah fans, she’s not exactly legendary

Song: 5

Nostalgia Factor: 4

Meh.  That’s the reaction I had in ’98 and that’s the reaction I have now.

Korn- Got the Life

Nu-Metal has officially entered the countdown.  I’ll admit I fell for the genre at the time, but Korn never clicked with me.  The thing that bothered me most about them was the lack of guitars.  Limp Bizkit weren’t known for brilliant guitar work, but at least you could pick out a riff.  “Got the Life” doesn’t have a riff, it’s just a dirge.  Jonathan Davis is also a major problem.  His Cookie Monster vocals are completely monotone.  His inflection does not change from verse to chorus.  No wonder Head gave his heart to Jesus.

Song: 4

Nostalgia Factor: 7

I get nostalgic for Nu-Metal, not because it was good per say, but because it takes me back to the 8th grade.

Limp Bizkit- Faith

Ahh Limp Bizkit, the band that everyone in my generation could agree on….for about two years.  This was the song that broke them into the mainstream, and guess what? It holds up.  This is probably because George Michael wrote a timeless pop song, but Limp deserves some credit.  The screamy part of the chorus appeals to the testosterone of fourteen year old white males, the “GET THE FUCK OFF” part seems fairly rebellious and DJ Lethal’s scratching is pretty cool.  This is the best example of Nu-Metal that we have in captivity.  The fact that it is a cover tune speaks volumes.

Song: 8

Nostalgia Factor: 9

My friends and I used to sit at the lunch table and discuss how truly awesome Limp Bizkit was.  They were awesome dude, totally awesome.

Marilyn Manson- The Dope Show

I was not allowed to listen to Marilyn Manson in 1998.  He was like an urban legend, something we all heard about but never got a chance to experience.  If someone was allowed to listen to Marilyn Manson, they instantly became a badass.  When this song came out, we were all confused by it.  Manson went from being an Antichrist suicide to a guy with boobs.  “The Dope Show” wasn’t exactly demonic either.  I couldn’t put my finger on it at the time, so I dismissed it as a bad move.  Now I understand that he reinvented himself as the King of Glam.   I was years away from discovering the magic of Ziggy Stardust, so I just proclaimed Manson to be “gay”  Oh to be young again!

Song: 9

Nostalgia Factor: 9

I can actually listen to Marilyn Manson now!  Mechanical Animals is my favorite record of his, and I think everything after was a step back.

98 Degrees- It’s All Because of You

I had this song blocked from my mind until now.  Thanks, YouTube.  At least *N’Sync and The Backstreet Boys had a team that knew how to give them an identity.  The only reason I can name one member of this band is because of his marriage to a certain bimbo.  This video annoys me too, especially the part when they are on the beach in matching sweaters.  For the love of God Lachey, can you do anything besides make gestures on your chest?  Oh wait, he can show his teeth.  How many Crest Whitestrips does that guy use?

Song: 3

Nostalgia Factor: 5

It’s really sad that this is the best song they ever recorded.  Wait until we get to 2000.

Aerosmith- I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing

Aerosmith needs to start taking drugs again.  Steven and Joe, I will be happy to score coke for you.  Seriously.

Song: 1

Nostalgia Factor: 7

These guys used to be the most dangerous band on the planet.  What happened?  Oh yeah, sobriety.

5ive- When the Lights Go Out

My god.  Somebody, please jam forks into my eyes.  OK, of all the boy band videos I’ve watched today…this is the worst.  I don’t even have anything to say, except I am not liable if you decide to click on that link.  You are doing it at your own risk.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Song: Can I go into negative numbers?

Nostalgia Factor: 0

I was a lot happier before remembering that song.

And so ends our look into the wonderful year of 1998.  It was actually a pretty diverse year in TRL land.  As the years go on, it will be less and less eclectic.  Join me tomorrow when we look at 1999.